If You Want to Master Doug Noll's De-Escalation Skills FAST...


Learn How To Calm Any Angry Child or Adult in Seconds

From the Desk of Doug Noll

Maybe your child is having a temper tantrum.

Maybe you have a sullen, non-responsive teen.

Maybe you have an angry boss or team member.

You're here to learn how to de-escalate situations fast.

On this page, you may register for my weekly coaching sessions. I will work you and a small group of like-minded people until you have mastered the skills. Typically, this takes 6-10 weeks of practice and coaching.
It's more than information - it's transformation!

Weekly Live Coaching Sessions
4:00 PM Pacific

$60.00 per week

Item Price
Weekly payments of $60

Subscriptions may be cancelled at any time

Your Coach

Doug Noll

Author, teacher, trainer, mediator, and peacemaker.
Doug has taught in places as diverse as maximum security prisons and the Congressional Budget Office. He has helped thousands of women and men learn how to create emotional safety, connection, and intimacy.
 "I started working with Doug a few months ago in order to develop skills that would help de-escalate tension while sheltering-in-place with family. The techniques he teaches were very useful to that end. I have found myself incorporating them in many other situations as well, such as with patients and staff in the office, in dialogue with friends, and with my toddler son. Some of his techniques are simple enough that I was able to use them immediately, with profound effect. Additionally, his approach is helping me to conserve mental and emotional energy while navigating challenging interpersonal dynamics, which has been invaluable for this working mom.  I highly recommend his training. "

Elizabeth Arris, LAc

"There is as much wisdom in listening as there is in speaking--and that goes for all relationships, not just romantic ones." --Daniel Dae Kim

"Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply." --Stephen R. Covey

“One of the most sincere forms of respect is actually listening to what another has to say.” Bryant H. McGill

“Listening is often the only thing needed to help someone.” Anonymous

“Listening is about being present, not just about being quiet.” Krista Tippett

“The most basic of all human needs is to understand and be understood. The best way to understand people is to listen to them.” Ralph Nichols

“Deep listening is the kind of listening that can help relieve the suffering of another person. You can call it compassionate listening. You listen with only one purpose: to help him or her to empty his heart.” Tich Nhat Hanh

We Know That Listening Is Important....But

We Have Not Been Taught What To Listen For

From the time we start to verbalize, we are taught to pay attention to words. Words are important. Words contain meaning. Listening to words is important.

The teaching is true...and incomplete. We are not taught deeper listening, and that is where the transformation lies.

Four Levels of Reflective Listening

There are four levels of reflective listening: Mirroring,  Paraphrasing, Core Messaging and Affect Labeling

You may be familiar with the first two levels, mirroring and paraphrasing. Mirroring is when you repeat the speaker's words back word for word. Mirroring has an important use, but is not effective for listening another into existence.

Paraphrasing is when you repeat back what the speaker has said in your own words. This has its uses, but never makes the speaker feel validated.

Core Messaging is a skill that requires you to ignore the speaker's words and focus on the speaker's intended meaning. Your reflection is simply what the speaker intended to mean, not what the speaker said.

Affect Labeling is the deepest layer of listening. When you affect label, you ignore the words and reflect the speaker's emotional experience. Affect labeling is the most powerful level of listening.

When you properly reflect  emotions, the speaker experiences:
  • Validation
  • ​Safety
  • ​Profound Relief That Someone Finally Understands Them
  • ​Calmness and Peace
  • ​Relaxation
  • ​Deep Gratitude
Don't Take It From Us...
Here are some students who bear witness to the power of Doug Noll's teaching.
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See what others have experienced in the Noll Affect Labeling System
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Christa, Prof. of English LIterature
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Phyllis,  ICU Nurse, RETIRED
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Wayne, Pastor and CHurch leader, retired
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